The Scratching Shed is proud to announce the forthcoming release of our first book, The Leeds United Kama Sutra.

A modern adaptation of the classic Hindu sex manual, The Leeds United Kama Sutra is packed full of “slow arousal” techniques.

With the experience and wisdom of Ken Bates, The Leeds United Kama Sutra can also provide you with “plenty of foreplay” ideas to ensure you’re royally screwed each and every time you visit Elland Road.

The Leeds United Kama Sutra will be available exclusively from the giant hole in the side of the East Stand and comes fully laminated to ensure lasting pleasure.

Sorry, it was a slow news day…