If there’s one thing Twitter has taught me it’s that celebrities and football players are some of the most boring and tedious people on the planet.

There are some rare exceptions to this rule, such as former Leeds United striker Brian Deane who I teamed up with the other night to poke fun at the club’s press officer, Paul Dews. But he’s old school, nowadays footballers are less interesting than a Sunday afternoon on the BBC.

Rather disappointingly, footballers seem relatively… normal!

Their updates are about as exciting as watching my friends lives pass by on Facebook where I discover that ‘Joanne has just put her baby to sleep’ and that ‘Michael is going to take a shower’. Quite how I’d have managed to continue breathing without that information I do not know.

Did social networking bring the lives of footballers and “normal folk” like myself closer together, or did it simply expose the fact that footballers lifestyles are as depressingly ordinary as our own?

I fail to believe that had Twitter been around when Paul Gasgoine and George Best were in their prime that I’d be reading some totally useless facts like those Andy O’Brien shared last night.

[quotetweet tweetid=48144147483332609]

It’s not just O’Brien either. The rest of the Leeds United side that are on Twitter spend what appears to be their entire lives either training, getting ready to go to training, going to sleep in preparation for training or playing FIFA on the PS3 (virtual training?)

Where are the crazy alcohol-fuelled, coma-inducing parties where lingerie models stroll around flirtatiously pouting towards every passer-by? Where are the late night Police raids and lectures from the management for the sorry state they arrived to training in? (You know, like Footballers Wives!) Where did it all go wrong?

Have footballers actually started acting like professionals? I know they like to throw that term around a lot, but I didn’t think they were being serious.

Is the rise of the internet merely a coincidence, or are these overgrown children caught in the same trap of online porn, social networking and live gaming that the rest of a generation has been hypnotised by?

Footballers are supposed to be the rockstars of sport. We’re supposed to hate them because of their carefree attitudes, party-heavy lifestyles and absolute indifference to money. They’re supposed to be smashing up £110,000 sportscars and blowing their life earnings on cocaine not sat at home watching some crap reality TV show;

[quotetweet tweetid=46686898760065025]

Aside from the odd John Terry moment, it really does seem the footballing lifestyle has become a tediously boring one. It’s a sad state of affairs when George Michael’s life appears more exciting than that of your average footballer.

So, for the benefit of any kids reading this. If you want to live a life of care-free drunken debauchery with an endless supply of loose women and exciting newspaper scandals I see only two remaining options – rock star or Blue Peter presenter.