Robbie Williams will have No Regrets about his choice of attire for these pictures (apart from the chosen size perhaps?)

The Take That star must have taken Leeds up on a Let Me Entertain You style offer, but if he really wants to capture the hearts and minds of Leeds United fans, he’ll have to change his Sing When You’re Winning philosophy – defiant singing regardless of score is an integral part of being a true Whites fan.

Williams, 37 claims to be a Port Vale fan but must have decided to try and become a Better Man by changing allegiance. Vale fans will no doubt have Come Undone with the news, but you can’t really blame the Chubby singer for jumping on the Leeds United bandwagon. We do after all, reign Supreme.

The outspoken Elland Road chairman, Ken Bates – who has clearly heeded Robbie Williams Old Before I Die advice – will be delighted with the PR these pictures give the club’s replica shirt. There’s nothing quite like 18st of popstar Advertising Space.

22 Responses

  1. Dje

    Odd really. Floundering about as a greying, overweight, middle-aged man, tab in hand and looking for the next pint, and you’d have thought that this made Robbie Williams closer to the average football fan in Britain.

    Then you read that it was all some odd football kickabout near his home in Los Angeles and see all the other odd-bods in the pictures wearing sparkly fresh-out-the-cellophane-wrapper replica kits of various teams and you really start to wonder if Williams finally came around from his latest drug, booze and hooker night-out and declared: “Today I want to be a football god!”

    A couple hours later after the P.A.’s have driven around the American equivalents of JD Sports, trying to find any football replica kits in XXL for a dozen or so ex-pat popstars, until finally the shop assistant realises that they weren’t after the San Diego Chargers of 49ers latest merchandise at all, but those soccer replicas at the back of the store that never sell…

    …and after the style team allocate the kits out on colour schemes that act as both most flattering to hair and figure – white kits of course flattering the grey hair and portly figure as any good Gok Wan would know, even though Robbie hurled vases around and threatened Gok Wan personally with a golf club ‘cos he couldn’t wear the red one, and red’s his favourite colour!…

    …then a further few hours of squeezing Robbie and Co. into these kits….

    …finally results in half a day of tantrums for being utterly shit at football and not really ever being aware what the point of the game of football or its fans was all about anyway, climaxing in Robbie trying to kick the football as hard as possible at his P.A.’s head, but still missing…

    …the day being saved when a hired stretched limo pulls up with a bevy of botoxed honnies and lines and lines of coke coaxes the little shits to pick up their bats and balls and go back home for icecream and jelly … and other stuff.


    For one I always felt all of Robbie’s football charity melarchy was all about dressing-up and parading about in some narcissistic self-fulfillment, an attempt to conceal – and mostly to himself – how utterly devoid he is of an inner soul. A bit like his music, I guess.

    • TSS

      The only problem with that theory is that Bates led Leeds United only sell the shirts direct, so he must have ordered from the club and waited patiently for delivery. It can’t possibly have been a spur of the moment thing.

      From what Andrew Haigh was telling me (Sun Hack), most of them were only wearing plain White t-shirts on his side – it was just Robbie who had worn a replica kit.

      Stranger still is the club he claims to support (Vale) wear a white shirt, so it can’t just have been the only all white shirt he could think of.

      I’d suggest a takeover, but he’s only worth £100m. Shame it wasn’t Robin Williams…

      Maybe a consortium of popstars takeover Leeds, generating money from an endless array of stadium gigs which they spend wildly on top-class players.

      • Dje

        I think I’d prefer Bates to Robbie Williams – as I think Bates would be less vindictive to the club if he didn’t get his way.

        I’d openly welcome Robin Williams as a chairman though – but only if he dressed as Mork from ‘Mork and Mindy’.

        And brought Mindy.

  2. number1inyorkshire

    FAT BACK 4
    There are many a celebrity leeds fan and i am sure we can all name 1 0r 2 but the most vocal i sat next to was at st Mary’s stadium Southampton we got beat 4-0 and boy did sky’s Tim Marshall let em have it .

    lets hope he keeps his gob shut in LIBYA or we might never see him in kop again .

  3. Mark Billings

    Here we go…

    It may have taken him what would seem like an -eternity- but finally Robbie has realised the error of his ways and has started supporting Leeds United.

    Robbie has been quoted as saying, “All through the -80s- and -90s- I supported Port Vale but now I -feel- that now I’m married and -kids- could be on the way I had to be not do -something stupid- like support Port Vale”

    As a Leeds fan Robbie will soon realise the phrase -win some lose some- is missing the (and draw loads) endnote. Leeds may have started the -millennium- on top of English football but like a -phoenix from the flames- let’s hope we’ll soon be back there. (rather than Ken Bates thinking, oooh that’s a good idea, I’ll do an insurance job on Elland Road.)

    … Don’t worry. I’ve already got my coat on.

  4. trueyorxman

    There’s no way he’d ever come out of the closet cos looking at the size of the fat fuck he’d never get in one in the first place. Mind you even though he ‘supports’ Port Vale he is a bit Stoke-on-Trent!!

  5. Andy Flynn

    I sat nex to Tim Marshall when we lost first leg of play off game against Carlisle. He was quality.

    Robbie Williams – closet something else I would say.

    Didn’t he get married? How convenient!!! She gets money and he gets to pretend the marriage is real

  6. Colin

    Please tell me he’s not the loan signing that Grayson has been going on about?

  7. WillS

    Maybe he was on trial – not for his music – rather a behind closed (double) doors friendly with Grayson thinking he could do a job alongside Howson?

    Kilkenny can be his fag man.

  8. Tom smith

    I know him and he’s not a Leeds fan! There a team of ex pats who live there. They have been training for the new season and play a match every week to stay “fit” could me wearing an inter shirt next week! Mot

  9. Shez

    Noticed the kit Robbie is wearing is not a replica, it’s an actual players shirt as it has the football league emblem on the sleeve (which is not sold with replicas) and also he’s wearing shorts with number 3 on it. I expect it will be a Leeds fan out in LA who lent him it and got it from none other than Patrick Kisnorbo (our current number 3 on the squad list)! Either way Robbie looks like a right fat c**t on those pics. Like he should care with millions in the bank, a beautiful wife and living in sunny LA.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.