The funniest Leeds United chants TSS November 3, 2010 Just for fun, Leeds United 52 Comments A post on The Early Bath blog got me thinking about some of the amusing chants I’ve heard on my travels following Leeds United. I’ve probably forgotten more than I’ve managed to remember and list below, so please add any others to the comments beneath the post. Here’s a few of my favourites… Lucas Radebe testimonial 02-05-05 A player from the Leeds United Ladies is subbed on during Radebe’s testimonial prompting the crowd to respond with a chorus of; “Ten men… we’ve only got ten me…” Histon v Leeds United 30-11-08 Whilst Histon were busy causing the biggest FA Cup upset of the round, the fans took time out to comment on ITV’s live coverage. The commentators professionalism (seen here in this YouTube clip) earns it a place on this list. Leeds United v Manchester United 14-09-2002 David Beckham was as popular as ever with the Leeds United faithful, as was his wafer thin wife; “Oh… Posh Spice is a slapper, “She f**king hates Manu “And when she’s f**king Beckham, “She thinks of Harry Kewell.” There were various incarnations of this chant around the Premier League with different players names used and the verses altered to rhyme. The Leeds version also altered with the second line sang as ‘she wears a big fat jewel’ and other Leeds players such as Danny Mills used instead of Kewell. Other popular Posh Spice songs include “Posh Spice takes it up the ****” – something both herself and David Beckham categorically denied in an interview with current affairs commentator, Ali G. Leeds United v TV coverage Thinly disgusted envy aimed at the fans bright enough to stay at home in the warmth, whilst those of us inside the stadium freeze to death watching another fine example of second-class football. “If you’re watching this on tele, you’re a c*nt” Leeds United v Peter Schmeichel When son-of-scum, Kasper Schmeichel joined the Leeds United family it put the Elland Road faithful in an awkward situation. Fans of the Whites are genetically coded to hate anything and anyone associated with Manchester United, so when the son of their greatest goalkeeper arrived it was important to set the record straight; “Your Dad’s a c*nt, but you’re alright!” Job done! Everyone v Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink Even the Leeds fans had to laugh when various teams started to chant about our favourite striker; “You’re just a fat Eddie Murphy” Leeds fans v Poorly supported away teams “You could have come on a skateboard/in a taxi/in a tractor… etc…” A couple of contributions from Facebook & Twitter Dominico on Facebook “We all dream of a team of Brian Deane’s… a team of Brian Deane’s…” “There’s only one Carlton Palmer, and he smokes Marujana” Lee on Facebook When Graham Le Saux bottles a 50/50 challenge with Alan Smith, the Leeds fans respond with; “Le Saux just sh*t himself… Le Saux just sh*t himself…” Football fans v Marriage Finally, this one has absolutely nothing to do with Leeds United but does stand as the funniest football chant I’ve ever heard. When a man proposes to his wife at half-time, 30,000 fans give him fair warning; “You don’t know what you’re doing, you don’t know what you’re doing…” Any more? As I said at the beginning of the post, it’s difficult to remember all the chants I’ve heard over the years so if you can think of some that I’ve missed please add them below.