Luxury accommodation in Hull

Not satisfied by leaving Elland Road with a totally undeserved point, Hull City fans are attempting to wind Whites fans up even more by claiming Luciano Becchio may be joining their insignificant little club in January.

After Bradley Johnson took pity on the travelling fishermen, Hull left Elland Road with a totally undeserved point on Tuesday. The solitary point has been described by Hull fans as the single greatest moment in their miserable and largely irrelevant history.

Further attempts to wind Leeds fans up were made in HCI’s description of Ian Ashbee who they called a ‘legend’ for leaving Luciano Becchio with a black eye. Whether giving someone a black eye is a common tactic for Hull when trying to attract players is unclear – mainly because no one cares about them and few of the natives can write, so information is extremely hard to come by.

What we can confirm however is that Hull offer all their targets a range of benefits including the chance to take up residency in a diverse cultural hotspot alongside the river. Local delights include fishing excursions down the Humber and the chance to watch the natives in the wild, where they can often be seen chasing enormous sewer rats around town (each rat is capable of feeding 25 locals). Other popular past-times include, lining up at the unemployment office, “Chavving it big style init yo” and inbreeding. It’s fair to say that everyone is (quite literally) one big happy family in Hull.

Of course, playing for Hull holds nowhere near the same status as playing for Leeds United. The two clubs and places contrast vastly in their comparative wealth, significance, respect and poverty levels but once every few years, the three-armed, six fingered yokels of Hull escape their poverty-ridden village and get the chance to see the greener side of the fence with a visit to the kings of Yorkshire at Elland Road.

For Hull fans, a visit to Leeds is like a beautiful blonde flashing a geeky teenage virgin – It’s a small glimpse of a world so far beyond their reach, the jealously leads them on a vicious campaign of slanderous and derogatory comments against us.

As Leeds United fans, we really should take the higher ground. I did think that they’d show a little more gratitude after Johnson gifted them a point but evidently not. The problem is, that Hull’s visit to Leeds allowed them to view the greatness of our team and they’ve been left desperately trying to cling on to any association ever since. It’s basically the same as when fat birds hang around with much better looking friends – they hope that the beauty will eventually rub off.

Unfortunately for both the fat birds and Hull City, it just doesn’t work like that. No matter how much you try and associate with your superiors, it won’t changge anything. You’ll always be inferior.