It’s not hard to picture the smug smile stretched across Ken Bates’ face as Simon Morris was sentenced to 18 months for blackmail. My mind paints a picture of the lying, deceitful, megalomaniac property developer laid back on his sun-drenched Monaco balcony as Jeeves, his servant, fetches the 18 year old bottle of Scotch he’ll use to celebrate the demise of his former nemesis.

Meanwhile, Simon Morris is being introduced to his cell mate Frank and his ridiculously large stockpile of Vaseline. Luckily for Morris, Frank assures him that he’ll be “looked after” during his time behind bars. “Finally, a lucky break” Morris thinks…

Some may suspect sympathy from Ken. After all, he’s suspected of far worse with a list of allegations ranging from money laundering, to tax evasion, to destroying the evidence he (and his merry band of heavies) seized from the Irish savings bank he once owned, that – like most of Bates’ business ventures – didn’t work out too well, leaving a sizeable list of angry Irishmen digging through a list of offshore banks and shell companies to try and ascertain where their money went.

But sympathy is not something we expect from Leeds United’s loveable chairman. His programme notes and next Yorkshire Radio interview will no doubt remind us how lucky we are to be owned by a crooked property developer clever enough to avoid criminal charges, rather than one whose amateurish mistakes saw him lose everything and end up in prison.

As hard as it may be to hear another “I saved you” rant from Mr Chairman, he perhaps has a valid point in this instance! Morris and Bates’ vision for Leeds United wasn’t all that dissimilar in that their plans focused more on the property potential than they did the sporting sideshow they have to tolerate.

In a parallel universe somewhere I suspect Simon Morris works side-by-side with Mr Bates, learning all the tricks to successfully dodge tax, hide money and exploit “grey areas” of law/football/ethics.

Imagine for a moment that Bates and Morris weren’t sworn enemies and that a meeting of minds led them to unite, using their combined evil to build a property empire around the crumbling Elland Road stadium that surpassed both of their wildest dreams.

With one evil property developer reaffirming the others narcissism, I doubt we’d ever sleep easily again. Unlike Bates, Morris is relatively young too meaning our torment could continue for decades to come with Mini Me taking the helm when Bates’ reign of terror comes to an end.

With that in mind, perhaps the inevitable “I saved you” rant will be easier to stomach. Bates’ failure to spot a kindred spirit in Morris, whose resources could have helped fund his evil empire, is something we should all be thankful for.

"Only one way to settle this now Levi. Put 'em up!"

Everything has gone wrong for the millionaire Simon Morris recently and today sees him charged with conspiracy to blackmail. Once heralded as one of the brightest entrepeneurs in our region, and at just 32 it’s some spectaculor rise and fall from grace for the former director.

Bates’ history is well-documented. Like many businessmen, Bates has always got want he wants, irregardless of the people it affects. Much like the Leeds United ownership, his business dealings have often been shrouded in mystery and brought before the courts in bitter public feuds time and again. His outspoken antics have made him a hate figure to football fans across the country, not least, a large percentage of Leeds United fans.

Of course, there’s also Ridsdale. It’s not that the mans a crook, his only real crime was meglomania. He wanted to be the greatest chairman that’s ever lived, guiding his young Leeds United to world dominance. Shame no one taught him finanical management before he bought such unnecessary players for extortionate sums.

It seems that Leeds United just attracts the wrong kind of owners. The huge potential to make money at Elland Road is probably the magnetic force dragging vultures like Bates and Morris towards our club. Whether Bates is currently doing well or not, I remain cynical. I simply don’t trust a man who insists on hiding so much. A man who insists on airing his personal disputes in public with more bad press aimed Leeds United’s way as a consequence.

Maybe one day we’ll find our messiah. A chairman who is open and honest with the fans and who wants to see us successful because he cares about the club, rather than his own bank balance. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against someone making a profit from Leeds United, but since Bates is supposedly only taking a salary from LUFC, where the rest of the cash is going is anyones guess – and in that lies the ultimate problem. The amount of shady characters we know about who have been involved with LUFC is enough to write a book on. The ones that ultimately concern me however, are those that remain illusive.

Been away for a few days but it seems the Cross Gate-gate Scandal (see what I did there?) remains a big talking point. After a couple of regulars critisised Gary Edwards YEP comments, Gary revealed the reason he felt so passionately about the paint job;

I was asked by The YEP and others to get involved in the ‘Gates Saga’
I dont give a toss if you dont like me, thats democracy, something that wasn’t used during the discussions by the boffins who sanctioned theses gates.
The main reason these gates were painted in those colours was the Labour councillor for Cross Gates, Peter Gruen is a fan of you know who, not only a fan, he openly brags about it.

I’d already admitted earlier in the comments that I couldn’t really care less about the colour scheme of the Crossed-Gates sculpture. For me, it’s an absolute eyesore, but if Peter Gruen has sanctioned this paint-job solely to get a reaction from the Leeds United supporting majority, then it’s him that’s the petty one. Not the fans that reacted.

You expect a certain amount of professionalism from your local councillors. If Peter has deliberately tried to annoy the Leeds United fans of the city, he’s in the wrong job.

I also think it’s ridiculous of the local council to allow this saga to continue, when Gary Edwards has offered to re-paint the gates free of charge. No further cost to the tax-payer (afterall, the six figure sum they’ve already wasted on this roundabout revamp is more than enough) and all the drama brought to an end in one move. Democracy is when the majority opinion decides the outcome. Clearly, the majority are opposed to the new colour scheme, therefore it should be fixed!

Lucky escape 101

For those that don’t remember Simon Morris, he was a Leeds-based property developer that wanted to take over the club a few years ago. He divided opinion amongst the Leeds fans. Some saw him as the way forward – a rich entrepeneur that could invest in the club and bring back the good times, whilst others were cynical and questioned his motives.

Well, whichever school of thought you were in, it seems we had a lucky escape. Simon Morris has been declared bankrupt after his company went into administration with debts totalling £50m last year. Morris did serve as a Leeds United director, but luckily for us his takeover plans never came to fruition.

Meanwhile…

Bradley Johnson has told Sky Sports that he’d be happy to open contract talks with Leeds. His current contract has 2 years remaining on it. Elsewhere it seems Leeds United pocketed a healthy £800,000 from the kids Man City poached.