Here’s how the proper version sounds, sang by 40,000 Leeds United fans before our FA Cup tie against Arsenal.

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How utterly predictable.

To be honest, it was hard not to feel like the Whites were any more than actors in a more media-friendly play than simply an FA Cup match in the run-up to this one – and in the end we were to oblige the Henry love-in, despite a resilient defensive showing.

The recent alarming slump in league form, only partially abated by the Burnley get-out-of-jail meant that few would have considered this anything other than a distraction before the more important London business is addressed at the weekend, but ironically, in distraction we saw much sharpened focus than recent games.

As a defensive show alone, few faults could be found. One of the youngest defences in recent times put in a fine night’s work.

The full-backs were very impressive, particularly White. Sadly, if there’s any truth in the rumours reported here on the Scratching Shed that Arsenal have made a contract offer to the lad, they’ll be upping their tapping up game from here on in.

He utterly stifled the highly-rated Oxlade-Chamberlain, who was eventually substituted. Although not tested a great deal against the frankly awful Andrei Arshavin, Zac Thompson also looks like he’s got the potential to give Bates an excuse not to lunge a finger into his pocket in pursuit of a long-term right-back option better than Connolly.

Tom Lees had a hugely impressive return from injury – the kid’s definitely ‘got it’: composure, leadership, positional sense, and it’s a testament to him that we’re no longer surprised by the maturity of his game. The ‘veteran’ of the bunch O’Dea looked by far the most limited, yet even he had a pretty solid game (but suggestion to Darren: can you consider other ‘out-balls’ to the straight pitch-bisecting hoof at all? Just give it a go and report back…)

‘Why don’t we defend like this in the league?’ I wondered aloud. ‘Because we at least try to attack in the league,’ retorted the fella in front of me. Fair point. Off-form we’ve undoubtedly been of late, so it was no real surprise to see solidity preferred to thrust by Grayson, even against a weakened Arsenal outfit.

Despite the distractive nature of the match, though, there was a sense that there could have been joy to be had against the Gunners defence had we actually bothered to trouble them.

Leeds’ attacking players are due significantly less laudatory reviews. I think the majority have now concluded that Ramon Nunez is simply a non-footballer with a half-decent shot. Unable to get any shots off at all, he was exposed as being devoid of ideas, touch, pace or final ball, typified by him getting in a position to repeat Max Gradel’s jinking penalty-win from last time out at the Emirates, and instead pathetically giving the ball away.

Fans’ hero Becchio is looking less and less heroic with every game. In this one he only managed to win and direct one header on my count and the positive change on the introduction of McCormack and Forssell was marked. Townsend shouldn’t really be judged on this game – his isolation acute, he was largely faced with bombing into dead ends time and time again.

Given the largely ‘attack against defence’ nature of the piece, the longer it went on goalless the more the stage was set for the inevitable dénouement. With depressing inevitability, Thierry got his goal (extremely stylishly taken I must concede), the Home fans made their only real noise of the game (bar that for the same man beginning his warm-up), and we left hopeful of future clean sheets against teams with no Thierry Henrys in their ranks, but also hoping for a quick Snoddy return, preferably on Saturday.

About Saturday; if the players have been any way distracted by their night out in the capital, it is heartening to note that Palace will be stretching their limbs and depleted squad even further to breaking point in pursuit of a genuine cup opportunity against Cardiff tonight, so we’ve no excuses.

What else to say? Well, er, Robbie Savage got riled at the baiting he and his colleagues received at the ill-advised punditry pop-up stand in front of the Leeds faithful, and stamped with rage – on Twitter, naturally. Savage getting hot and bothered, Henry scoring against Leeds. Some things never change.

Thanks to Vivek Arulnathan from Welcome To The Gunner’s Town for taking part.

It’s just like 2011 all over again, what was your reaction when you saw that Leeds would be coming to The Emirates in The FA Cup once again?

Teams from the lower leagues are really dangerous especially in these early stages of the competition and I was hoping we could draw one of the teams fighting for relegation in the Premier League. But given the current spate of injuries in the Leeds squad, I am pleased with the draw as it will give Wenger the option to rest some of his key players after the hectic schedule in December.

Do you think The FA Cup is a big priority for Arsenal this year?

If it wasn’t for our horrible form early on, Wenger would have certainly seen the FA Cup as an achievable target. But due to that poor start, Arsenal are completely focused on the league as they chase that crucial fourth spot. So Arsenal will not sweat too much over the FA Cup, for this season at least. This is evident from how Van Persie was left out of the squad even against Manchester City in the League Cup. Champions League action next year is crucial for this club to go forward and I am sure Wenger feels the same as well.

Thierry Henry is available to make his return on Monday night, what do you make of him coming back to Arsenal?

Being a club legend, he is always welcome at the club. Henry is without question Arsenal’s greatest player and his return will be an emotional rollercoaster for both him and the fans as well. I don’t see him making a huge difference on the field as his old legs have lost the turn of pace that helped him in terrorizing defenses in his first spell. His presence on the training field will make a big impact though. His work ethic and training will benefit someone like Walcott who idolizes the Frenchman. But most importantly, Henry’s presence will help the squad realize the pride in wearing the red and white of Arsenal.

Do you think he will feature on Monday? Who else should we be looking out for in your team, are you expecting a strong line-up?

Henry will surely play but Wenger hasn’t disclosed whether he’ll start or come off the bench. With Chamakh staying back for a few more days, I expect him to start along with Arshavin and Alex Chamberlain in a three pronged attack. Defensively, Arsenal have limited options due to the spate of injuries so I expect either Koscielny or Mertesacker to partner Squillaci in the centre with Coquelin and Miquel on the flanks. In the middle of the park, Rosicky and Benayoun will certainly start. Park and Henry could start as a deep lying forward if Wenger decides to play a 4-4-2 but that is highly unlikely.

Are there any current Leeds players who you would take at Arsenal?

I am not sure about that but if there are youngsters like Alex Chamberlain in your academy, I’ll assure you that some of Wenger’s scouts will be lurking around the corner!

Finally, what’s your prediction for the game?

I don’t see Leeds going down too easily despite all the injuries. These games bring the best out of them and Arsenal shouldn’t expect an easy win. But with a strong defense set to be fielded by Wenger, Leeds will find it tough to score especially if Koscielny plays. And with Benayoun in midfield pulling the strings, I feel this will be a 1-0 or 2-0 to Arsenal.

…and what have we done?

Well, evidently not so much, if the sort of league position you tend to hover around is the meter of doing summat.

A decidedly non-Leeds mate of mine can’t mention our club without dropping the word ‘seventh’ into the mix with as much sadistic pleasure as possible. ‘Falling ever so slightly short – derivative of seasons past: three stars’ would be the thrust of our arts critic’s review.

Another year over…and a new one just begun

They’re all more or less the same though really, aren’t they? We now even get exactly the same FA Cup tie every year.

The life of the modern Leeds fan essentially involves oversized expectations against our better judgement, oversized pricing structures, oversized corporate facilities, what’s tragically starting to look a bit like an oversized stadium, and undersized investment in playing staff.

This year has seen us officially become over-achievers. Will this be the New Year the wallet opens? Would this only serve to make us underachievers again? All bets are off.

And so this is Christmas…I hope you have fun

Will we though? Do we ever? We all know it’s not about such facile concepts in the LUFC family.

Looking at the four festive fixtures, you could hope wildly for seven points at least – but we are Leeds, and more specifically, we are Leeds in a league where inconsistency is the norm: we’re positively being egged on to confound our fans week-on-week. Expect to be drunk on rage and exultation in roughly equal measure, with a little confusion as a mixer.

Even if we somehow scrap and batter our way to promotion against all the stifling aspects working against us, it won’t be a fun kind of promotion; that much you can be sure of. Above all, it’s not the Yorkshire way. Fun is for the soft-headed Southerners.

The near and the dear ones

Speedo gone without getting halfway through his fifth decade; Ken steaming into his ninth decade in fine fettle. Yes, Christmas’s suggested philosophy of justice, health and good will for all really sits better this year than ever before…

We get dearly attached to the idea of glorious returns to the club of former doyens. With much certainty, there will be heavy sighing, slagging, and romantic odes over names such as Delph, Smith, and Keogh in January.

The old

Which would lead on nicely to our glued-on octogenarian Santa lookalike – but then you realise absolutely everything’s been said, and we’re losing the stomach for the in-fighting.

Erm, what else? Dead wood is old. We like to venerate the old and offer it long-term contracts, but this method of showing respect may need to be abandoned – the absence or presence in February of our cherished wood may determine whether the good ship United keeps vaguely successfully bobbing or not.

..and the young

A break from relentless doom is needed. Here, we have it. Lees, White, Taylor, and yet more promising noises of progress under the eye of Neil Redfearn from below. The ‘conveyor belt’ may have slowed, but decent products are still dropping off, at least more than they have been of late.

But when the spectre of relegation-threatened and desperate Premier League sides looking to add to their feeble squads (that’s at least 13 of them) constantly looms and the Daily Mirror still exists, perhaps ‘product’ is not a useful term, even in this month of rampant consumerism.

And what of our next generation of fans? We may be reaching the tipping point when it becomes tragically commonplace that proud Whites stalwarts catch their sons pestering mothers for Man City shirts. Ok, this has definitely returned to doom. Sorry about that.

War is over

Ha f***ing ha. Leeds v The World, Leeds v Leeds, Leeds v Bates, Leeds v Common Sense: there are far too many wars on too many fronts to make such rash promises just now. Hell, we’ve even got a chest prepared to fund the fight on all fronts – if only someone finds the damn key.

Let’s face it, we’ve chosen a disagreeable weapon to fight the battles required in the life of a football fan; one with a tendency to combust and recoil with disastrous effect at any time. But it remains a fairly spontaneous way to waste our time, at least.

Rest well, brethren – it’s gonna be an inevitably rocky five months. Have codeine and a defibrillator close to hand at all times.

I know it doesn’t speak well to my mental well-being, but I really do love the hate-fuelled vile constantly aimed at our club from all directions. It makes us unique and rather interesting.

Take this, from an Arsenal fan as an example;

Arsenal have, as we all know by now, drawn Leeds United in the third round of my favourite competition, the FA Cup. More recent Arsenal fans might not know this, but Leeds United are the embodiment of all that is ugly and wrong with soccer and parents should steer their kids away from being Leeds fans just like they steer their kids away from talking to balding old men who lurk at the edge of the playground in a windowless white van.

Such a captivating opening to his rant, right?

It’s rants like these that make me love being hated. Aside from Millwall who are universally despised for being Millwall, the Championship is a league full of boring clubs no one could care less about. If we were in the Premier League at present, would any of us be looking down at the Championship for an exciting cup tie? Would any club for that matter be looking down at the Championship for an exciting cup tie? I sincerely doubt it.

Leeds are the exception to an otherwise boring set of teams that are either yoyoing back and forth between the Premier League/League One or content with their own mediocrity, happy to make the numbers up in England’s second tier. These other teams are totally devoid of character – going to Portsmouth or Barnsley is no more or less interesting than going to Southampton or Burnley.

If Leeds have been cast as the Pantomime villain of this division, then so be it – Christ knows it needed some character.

The Arsenal fan whose rant I referred at the top of this post goes on to explain his hatred, citing the general “Dirty Leeds” nonsense we’re all used to by now. He even takes a shot at one of his own club’s legends, David O’Leary, for putting together a team that beat seven bells out of his own set of pansies.

You can read the rest of his stereotypical, wildly exaggerated rantings here (it’s amusing, if nothing else). You’ll notice a major inaccuracy in the following paragraph that speaks volumes to his research;

Leeds spent the rest of the 1980′s in the Second, gaining promotion back to the First in 1989-1990. Up until the late 1990′s, though, Leeds didn’t amount to much, and it was only after George Graham was named manager shortly after the start of the 1996 season that Leeds started to play well again.

We didn’t win the title in 1992 then? Funny how so many of us imagined that.

Summing up, the bitter Arsenal fan explains his hatred, referring to the game as “soccer” which could explain his lack of knowledge – I assume he’s American and most of them think the game was invented around the time Manchester United started winning things;

[Leeds] personify everything to me that is wrong with the game – ugly play, a massive financial overreach, and the arrogance to believe that both of those things were and are acceptable. They may be running their club in a more fiscally responsible way now – I don’t pay attention to them these days and thus have no idea – but the fact that they borrowed so heavily against a future that provided no guarantees, all the while playing a style of the game that would make your average prison basketball team blush, means that in my opinion, Leeds got and are getting what they deserve – lower division soccer.

Deserving of lower division soccer indeed. We’re also getting an FA Cup tie against Arsenal that few of us care about, but will still do all we can to maintain our “Dirty Leeds” reputation in.

For sport is nothing without characters and if the Premier League was a division full of Arsenal’s with their sleep-invoking manager and team made of lightweight pansies who spend as much time moaning as they do playing football, it’d be an extremely boring division no one would be interested in.

Once upon a time I had a great respect for Arsenal. When the team featured warriors like Patrick Viera, Tony Adams and Sol Campbell, it was hard not to look on enviously. But the modern day Arsenal is a side full of over-hyped, perpetual moaners who think they have a God-given right to be successful – a myth predicated on the basis that their squad cost relatively nothing and shows more skill than effort.

Arsenal supporters have dropped dramatically in my respect levels too. Highbury had a library-like atmosphere few people enjoyed but their fans were entirely genuine. With the Emirates however came an entirely new fan base who love nothing more than to indulge in half time prawn sandwich eating contests, and boo their players every time they lose possession or have a bad game. There’s a large percentage of glory hunters, no different from Manchester United, who demand and expect success that represent all that is wrong with modern football.

Quite how anyone can consider Leeds United fans arrogant when we have Arsenal to make us look humble is baffling, but let me add to that stereotypical attribute by theorising the real reason the above Arsenal fan hates Leeds United is the passionate, vocal fanbase we take everywhere that puts all else to shame – even when we’re losing. Perhaps it’s the enjoyment we take from following our club, despite our recent struggles and ongoing attempts to regain Premier League status they find so hard to stomach? Maybe it’s our devilishly good looks?

Or maybe it’s just the arrogance I gave you a perfect example of above? I don’t really care to be honest with you, I love being hated.

On and on…

Leeds United will face Arsenal in the FA Cup for the second consecutive season, drawing the Premier League side away at The Emirates.

The Whites took Arsenal to an Elland Road replay last time the two sides met, drawing 1-1 at the Emirates before Arsene Wenger’s side won 3-1 at Elland Road.

The biggest tie of the third round is undoubtedly Manchester City vs Manchester United whose balls were weighted to ensure Budweiser’s advertising money was well spent.

Five of the European and domestic medals Allan Clarke received during his time with Leeds United, including those received for winning the UEFA Cup and League title, have appeared on an auction site.

We’ve heard that the medals were previously sold by Clarke and are being re-sold by a private owner. Up for sale are;

• 1970 FA Cup runners-up medal
• 1971 Fairs (UEFA) Cup winners presentation trophy
• 1973-74 League Champions presentation trophy
• 1973 FA Cup runners-up medal
• 1975 European Cup runners-up medal

The auction is expected to raise between £16,000-£24,000.

The most eye-catching piece up for auction has to be the 1975 European Cup runners-up medal, since the circumstances of Leeds United’s defeat to Bayern Munich were marred in such controversy with a series of dodgy decisions made by a referee who it’s believed was bribed. It was the controversial 1975 final that led to the “We are the champions, champions of Europe” chant still sang by Leeds United fans to this day.

American striker Mike Grella has joined League One side Brentford on an emergency loan deal. His contract will be terminated later this week so Grella can sign a permanent deal with The Bees. 

Grella arrived at Elland Road in 2009 with great things expected of him. From day one, it was clear the American had potential, but it was potential that would never be fully realised with the Whites.

The American striker never seemed to fully grasp the English game. Leeds United not sending him out on loan sooner, instead leaving him to rot on the bench is one explanation for his unfulfilled potential.

But Grella had 42 chances to show us what he was made of and always seemed some way short of the finished product. In his two years at the club, Grella managed just 5 goals for The Whites, 4 of which came in the FA Cup against lower league opposition.

Certainly skilful, Mike Grella just didn’t seem to know when to shoot. He lacked the killer instinct top strikers have. When the crowd were screaming at the American to “hit it!”, Grella was too busy doing step-overs, or trying to work his way through a crowd of opposition players.

There’s no denying that Mike Grella’s time at Elland Road has been a disappointment to the player and club alike. Whilst not disappointed to see him leave, we still wish Mike all the best at Brentford. I genuinely hope he can develop into the player he always should have been and fire Brentford to glory.

Unfortunately for Bradders, Simon Grayson is also present at these Thorp Arch gatherings and has a much different take on events, later joking that ‘Bradley shoots like that in training, and most of them end up in Wetherby’.

Feel free to draw your own conclusions, but from the amount of efforts I’ve seen heading towards the M621 on matchdays, I know who I believe.

Anyway, since they don’t come often enough, let’s enjoy Bradley Johnson’s wonder-strike again…

By 5pm, we’d made our way to Spencers where the atmosphere was starting to build ahead of kick-off and Leeds United fans were already starting to dream of another FA Cup shock.

Our final stop was to the, Old White Hart. Our theory was, that the Peacock would be rammed with the bumper attendance expected for Arsenal’s visit so a slight detour may prove productive. As it turned out, the White Hart was equally packed but getting to the bar was a hell of a lot easier.

In the White Hart, we were entertained by an older Leeds United fan who had been a season ticket holder for the past 40 odd years. He was also at Wembley the day Allan Clarke scored to win Leeds their first and only FA Cup to date. His nostalgic tails of following the Revie boys around the country, mixed with his infectious optimism for the current team had us all believing Leeds United may well pull another FA Cup shock off by the time we left for Elland Road.

As it turned out, the night had no real surprises in store for anyone. Arsenal fielded a strong team and dominated big patches of the game. A fifth minute goal from Samir Nasri and a 35th minute second from Bacary Sagna had Leeds fans fearing a rugby score.

Leeds had their chances too in attack, but when forced to defend we were too often guilty of giving Arsenal time and space, allowing them to force their own game on us rather than vice versa.

Bradley Johnson did offer some glimmer of hope though on the 37th minute when he slammed in an absolute screamer from long range. 2-1 and Leeds started to look a little more dangerous in attack.

Leeds never stopped attacking Arsenal when given the chance, and as the scoreline remained 2-1, Arsenal were forced into bringing on the big guns to ensure any late drama was avoided – step forward, Van Persie and Cesc Fabregas.

Within minutes of their arrival, Arsenal killed the game off when Robin van Persie added a third. Leeds, undeterred continued to attack with Kasper Schmeichel switching to an outfield role and the Whites throwing everything they could at Arsenal, but the Gunners were just too strong are deservedly progressed to the fourth round.

The score, whilst a little disappointing at first, was largely irrelevant. The big success of the night was the players never-say-die attitude and the defiant roar of the Leeds United fans that had the national rags worshipping us.

Every Arsenal goal was followed by cheers from the Leeds United faithful of “We are Leeds” or “We all love Leeds…”. ‘WACCOE’ as always proved to be another highlight, but it was the more original songs such as “Who needs Cesc Fabregas, we’ve got Rob Snodgrass” “Are you Walcott in disguise?” and “FA Cup who gives a f**k, we’re super Leeds and we’re going up” that stood out for me.

Overall, the match ended pretty much as we all realistically expected it to. We boosted the clubs funds with a profitable and televised replay and got the chance to show why we belong in the Premier League as the Elland Road crowd roared for 90 minutes straight.

On a personal note, I learnt to remain in the Kop from now onwards. We spent the night in the North East Upper as some fair-weather friends were joining us and we wanted to sit together. Shifting my head from left to right to see what was going on whenever anyone attacked the Kop end was a particular annoyance that I don’t wish to repeat any time soon. Still, the bar queue moved a lot quicker.