Elland RoadI hate pre-season, everything about it annoys me.

I hate the ITK Agents spawning a never-ending list of nonsensical transfer rumours and the gullible people who repeat and help spread those works of fiction.

I hate fickle fans who take any positive as a sign that Leeds United will win the league and any negative as reason to fear relegation.

I hate people’s lack of patience nearly as much as I hate waiting.

I hate subtle hints at great news to come and I hate that I don’t hate the #lufctreasurehunt.

I hate photoshopped away shirts and YouTube clips that make pub league players look like Lionel Messi.

I hate smiley faces tweeted by Leeds United directors.

I hate soft drink manufacturers making me fear a tinpot future less credible than MK Dons existence.

More than all that though, the thing I really hate is pre-season football.

I hate that it makes me question the sense in spending one million pound on a central midfielder when the squad so blatantly lacks wingers and the club doesn’t seem to have any more cash to buy them with.

I hate the hole in the middle of the 4-4-2 diamond that’s just begging to be hoofed over.

I hate that selling Sam Byram to the highest bidder somehow makes sense to me.

I hate that the problems seem so incredibly similar, I’ll only have to edit the name in Neil Warnock’s obituary if Brian McDermott can’t pull off some kind of Venables-esque wheeling-and-dealing in the next couple of weeks.

I hate that I’m already starting to question some of McDermott’s decisions.

I hate that Michael Brown is still a Leeds United player.

I hate that I can’t list a starting XI I believe is capable of finishing in the top six from the players Brian McDermott has assembled thus far.

I hate that I can’t list a starting XI I believe is capable of finishing in the top half.

I hate that I’m a thousand miles away from Leeds (at the Benicassim festival in Spain), no competitive matches are currently being played, I’ve only had 8 hours sleep in 3 days and pre-season is still managing to annoy me.

I┬áhate that come August 3rd, I’ll probably wish we could start pre-season all over again.