A confusing summer of ups and downs Nick July 1, 2013 Leeds United 8 Comments The Scratching Shed is pleased to welcome Nick back for his take on the summer so far… Being a Leeds fan over the summer seems to have more ups and downs than when the team are actually playing. Let’s start by going back a few days. It was over a month and a half since that “sly” bastard Dom Poleon picked up poor innocent Watford defender Ikechi Anya, attached him to a rocket and fired him at their keeper Jonathan Bond, before later scoring and celebrating by wiping his balls over every Watford fan and Bond’s headless corpse. There has been no noise out of Elland Road since the BFG’s nephew Matt Smith announced he was quitting Doctor Who and moving to Leeds after falling in love with his new assistant Ross McCormack. Every day a new rumour pops up of a potential signing – Noel Hunt, Harry Forrester, Tommy Rowe, but nothing from the club. A near media blackout is in place and the fans are dying for answers. David Haigh has stopped using Twitter to answer fans queries and instead just occasionally uses it to wish happy birthday to the odd desperate supporter. Salem Patel hasn’t been seen or heard of since April, presumably he was in a huff after buying his first Leeds shirt for the Bahrain GP, only for those tiny faceless men at Macron to change it with a cool new blue accessory. Then completely out of the blue (stripe) the beautiful man thumb Brian McDermott, a tower of honesty, tells a charity bash that essentially we have no money. It doesn’t come as a huge shock, there had been no movement in the week since McDermott said he had players waiting to sign and just needed the go ahead. Nevertheless it leaves us wondering if we are about to have another season watching an ill-equipped side wallow in mid-table. All that’s left to cling on to is the news of a mystery announcement that is due from the club in the next 24 hours. More than ever before. the fans are clambering for answers, what is the announcement? Investment? Takeover? Salem Patel has taken up a job at Leeds train station? Then “Bam!”. Jesus Christ, there it is, just two weeks after threatening to subject Redders to Chinese water torture unless he takes all his mates sons into Thorp Arch, deputy vice assistant chairman elect, and life-long Leeds fan Salah Nooruddin answers the big one. What do you think of the fixture list? So here we are, none the wiser as to what is really going on at Leeds, just left with the daily ups and downs, linked with a player one day, told we can’t afford him the next. It seems to be increasingly desperate, we have so little money that despite naming all the yellow supermarkets in the area after living legend Steve Morison, we have to loan him out to Milwall just so we can afford to bring Noel Hunt in on a free. Although there are few fans sad to see Morison go, which includes Donald Duck’s arch enemy Habib Habibou, who claimed Morison lacked passion, it still paints a worrying picture, where we can’t even afford a free transfer. So we are skint, Bates is about to leave us to take up his seat in the Steve Morison Oval Office and it’s all doom and gloom. Well no, somehow, inexplicably we seem to have got together the money to put a £1 million bid for Crewe’s Luke Murphy. Not only that, but the word is, we have snuck in front of Kentucky Fried Blackburn to be favourites to land his signature. Of course, tomorrow that won’t happen, the rumour will be we are going into administration and Sam Byram has just received a lovely pavlova from a mystery admirer in Norfolk. So here we are, summer rolling on, zero idea what’s going on and we have millions and no money all at the same time. Ups and downs indeed.