From : papasmurf@FSF-gov.cayman.com

Date: 18th January 2011 AD, 08:54 GMT

To : smithersHarvey@FSF-gov.cayman.com

Harvo,

WTF? Thought I’d told you the morons weren’t supposed to hear about the Howson deal until April? FFS can’t I trust you to do anything!! Consider your Metro pass and executive bathroom key revoked with immediate effect. Was going to get a slap up dinner for the missus and me with Delia if we kept that one quiet – you’ve ruined that you nincompoop.

As per the norm, please ensure transfer funds get banked to Teak Holdings, and while we’re on that – where’s my F**king rent you idiot? You know I use that account with my Dom Perignan supplier, got turfed out when he found out i could only afford 14 crates of the stuff this week – There isn’t a majestic wine warehouse in Monaco you idiot – get it sorted.

I’m also waiting for the latest uptake figures on Project Meccano. We should be flush now with that YTS kid off our wages and on his way to the bumpkins, so for catering in Chateau Custard this weekend I’m thinking 15 Gross of Russian Caviar, Some Californian Condor Eggs – Say 300? We could have an ‘Endangered Omelette special’ Yeah I like that – get me some Bird of Paradise Eggs too – the wife loves those – little tweeting b*stards.

I note your concerns that only 14 people are booked in to watch us play Burnley this Tuesday night – but its money well spent isn’t it? If you come up short, sell that Scottish lad – well sell them both, never really liked the Scottish – all a bit bolshy for my liking, and prone to going on strike.

Lastly I keep getting emails from that idiot Grayson – didn’t like him on the generation game – and don’t like him now – I mean I pay him £15,000 a year, he said it was his dream job, and apparently he now expects me to spend some of my money on some ridiculous football team?! Just make sure he doesn’t send me any more messages will you. I employed Taff Williams to find all our players – who the hell does Grewson, think he is?

Yours in hate

K

Written by Matthew Brown-Bolton

  • Frogman

    Genius!

  • LeeWilson

    If you said this was genuine, I’d believe it. Almost.

    • TSS

      @LeeWilson I’m not sure it isn’t. Matt BB sent it in, he never specified as to whether it was a spoof or he’d actually hacked the account. Still could go either way for me…

      • mattbb1

        Didnt you know hacking is the way forward..

  • Rodge

    Hahahaha

  • JuliusRobinson

    Ironically not too far from the absolute truth !

  • lou reed

    Are you 12 years old?… You must be one of the morons that old git was on about… Always jumping in about bates as soon as anything happens… You know nothing, and your boring shite is doing nothing for the team… Go and support liverpool.. They buy anybody….tosser

    • TSS

      @lou reed

      I didn’t write the above, but in defence of the author I think he was trying to take a humorous approach to our recent troubles – something clearly lost on you.

      As for the attack on the site in general, you were blessed with the gift of free will, have you considered using it? I presume no one is holding your head to the computer screen and forcing you to read it. If so, I apologise.

      I’m sure the team take personal attacks on the club’s CEO very seriously. I can imagine them all sat at home right now crying into their pillows. I bet they’ll be unable to play tomorrow.

      “Go and support Liverpool” Please. Get a grip for Christ sake. You’re doing more to damage this club than anyone. Almost the entire fanbase can see what a cancerous effect this regime is having on Leeds United, it’s people like yourself that don’t help matters by licking the arse of our ownership when all else have turned against them. To think, we once stood united as fans. Too many mugs these days I suppose.

      On and on…

      • CasWhite

        TSS, your a big man aren’t you. Agreed the humour has been lost on the previous guy, but your now saying you speak for the entire fanbase (sorry almost)? What you are is someone who beleives the fact you write something it must true. You spout stuff which is worth read as much as Ken’s programme notes as they are both good for a laugh. Am I a mug for beleiving we are better now than when that idiot Krasner was in charge? You wrote in a previous article that he knew what he was doing not putting the club into administration. Yes, trying to save his and his mates money? Oh and selling ER and TA to do it as well. Think you need a reality check on some of the things your write.

        • mattbb1

          well i do happen to know a lot about adminstration, receivership, indeed all forms of corporate restructuring. Krasner was right, he knew, as a qualified insolvency practitioner that administration would risk an asset stripping of the club, given the size of the club too that the creditors would potentially ensure that administration may turn into a liquidation and winding up. Bates was lucky he got away with the administration, HMRC are not to be messed with, never mind them though, plenty of other creditors were left out of pocket. Administration is no guarantee of safety.

        • TSS

          @CasWhite Don’t recall writing anything of the sort? You sure that was me? Because I’m 100% sure it wasn’t.

          I don’t think I speak on behalf of the entire fanbase at all. I don’t think I’m always right either. If I thought that I wouldn’t allow comments beneath posts. I wouldn’t have introduced a submit article feature either (which is why the above has been published here in the first place) – I’d do exactly what Ken Bates does and present one side to every story.

          I didn’t take exception to the above poster because he disagreed with the article. I’ve spent hours on end debating such things with the users on here. My problem is the way he chooses to voice his disagreement. If he wants to spend 10 minutes banging out a reply, he could at least be constructive with it – failing that, he has the free will I mentioned earlier.

          I have absolutely nothing against the dozen or so people in the pro-Bates camp, just the ones that state their case by calling other people idiots. This “you’re destabilising the team” argument does get tiring – especially when no one can provide any evidence to prove this allegation. Oh and then there’s the “you’re not a Leeds United fan” or “go support someone else” they’re so keen on. It’s ridiculous.

          If my response to the above is what offended you, then I apologise. But I felt it should be as constructive as his own comment.

        • number1inyorkshire

          @mattbb1 here here my mate lost hundreds of thousands of pounds when bates put leeds into admin he got 14 p in the pound in the end or close to that .

          And as you know thats a good amount for creditors under administration .he is a crook ,and not a fit and proper person, how can he be with that track record .

        • CasWhite

          Sorry TSS if it wasn’t you, it may have been a guess writer. I agree the proof about a lot of things people comment on is not there. In the opposite corner I have been called a traitor for beliiving some of the things Ken have done have been for the best of the club. At present we are anything but United and any protests should be left for outside the East Stand were Ken now sits and not during the 90mins when we should be supporting the team through the up’s and down’s.

          If people really think not attending or buying merchandise will remove him, than yes it may. But only after administration or relegation. The club lives on it’s own income. Do we really expect a white knight to ride in? Don’t forget we could have had Simon Morris developing ER.

        • CasWhite

          Krasner was right? He and the Yorkshire consortium sold everything so save themselves. They sold ER and TA for fraction of worth with high rents. If Bates hadn’t come along what would he have done next as they no assets?

        • mattbb1

          i think you need to take an holistic approach in business. Was it unavoidable? no I dont think it was, the process itself showed there were plenty of other people who wanted to invest, but more to the point, only if the present regime had moved on. Can you condone it? I suppose you can, personally I felt it was a huge risk to take, and that it was sadly borne out of the fact that we had failed to invest in our core business – football – that season. Fine we might have run at a loss, but if we d held the 2005/6 team together and added a couple more – we would have had a shot at promotion – and debts wouldnt have been an issue, moreover bates would have sold up.

        • TSS

          @CasWhite To be honest with you, the protests are not for me. I agree with them in principle, but I just don’t believe they’ll have any effect whatsoever. I think Ken Bates actually quite enjoys it all to be honest with you – that’s evident from the reaction he gives the Kop to Bates out chants.

          I wouldn’t disagree with him having made some good moves over the years, I’ve praised him myself on one or two occasions, but for the most part, this regime has been a total disaster as far as I’m concerned.

          My own personal view is that the only way Ken Bates leaves Leeds United is through force and that the only way to force him out is to put him in financial trouble. He won’t leave when promoted, people need to let go of that idea.

          Financial trouble does not necessarily mean the club has to end up in admin, I think Bates would put us up for sale long before that happened (like he did with Chelsea) but regardless of the outcome, I won’t be renewing. I just don’t enjoy it any more. Bates knows he can call us all idiots, hike the prices, spend nothing and we’ll keep filling his coffers – he’s abused our irrational sense of loyalty for years and largely got away with it.

          My decision is what’s right for me. Seeing what’s happening to our team, with the waste of cash that is the East Stand boxes above me where Ken Bates stands and gives two fingers to The Kop, it’s just too much. I can no longer continue to fund someone who treats me – as a customer – that way, it’s madness. But that’s my own personal decision and I haven’t pushed for anyone else to make the same call via this site because I think everyone needs to make their own. If other people feel that strongly, it’ll happen organically and we’ll see where that leaves us, but it’ll be entirely Ken’s doing.

          Oh, and the club should be more than “living off its own income”. We have the highest turnover in this division, never spend on players, very little on wages (all in the accounts) and only post such measly profits – there’s something amiss there.

        • mattbb1

          i think thats moot. notwithstanding, i happen to think what krasner and his colelagues did was very brave, and actually very effective. Leeds’ debt was almost cut by 2/3 their goal was only ever to `hold the fort’ and make the club as saleable as possible. He achieved in short a 33p in the £ return for creditors, without destroying our financial reputation. Bates reaped the benefit of that, and on similar revenues, put us in administration – and got us relegated?! so whos worse?

        • CasWhite

          TSS, people have to make there own decision. I myself will renew, but must admit some of the play on the pitch has made me think if I’m enjoying it. But I’m in this for life!!!

          The only thing I disagree with is your last comments. We haven’t had the figures from last year as all your basis is on league 1 figures. Will be interesting to see what profit/loss was made without player trading for last year.

          Never spend on players, well agree we haven’t paid massive fees as in last couple of years only Pugh, Lonergan, Bruce, Clayton, McCormack, Bromby, Gradel have moved for fees between £100k and £500k (although undisclosed – and may have missed some). As for wages player wages in year of promotion were £7m+ which was alot for league 1. Weren’t total wages £12m as we do seem to employ lots of people in the other off-field areas. But loanees don’t come cheap and I bet our wage bill last year does put us in and around the play-offs if ranking clubs. But this is more about how the manager uses the funds.

          We do though a the millstone of rent – £1.7m, police costs (£80k for match against Millwall for there 200 fans!!!) etc.

        • CasWhite

          Brave or stupid Mattbb1? Didn’t know how to run a club and were losing money all the time as they were also not brave enough to increase prices. Selling the future of the club and assets was brave!!! Our financial reputation was destroyed before they were involve. Trevor Birch was doing a lot of fire fighting as well before Krasner.

          And did they not get us relegated from the Premier League on your logic? So I will say they were worse than Bates as left nothing behind.

        • TSS

          @CasWhite I don’t agree the manager misuses funds, I think his hand is forced. We miss out on Andrews and Clingan because Harvey can’t seal the deal, we end up with Brown. Miss out on Lambert and Sharp, end up with Paynter. A club like Leeds United should not be settling for second and third best – ever. But that’s the situation, SG can’t get his first choices so is reliant on frees and loanees which simply isn’t good enough.

          We should be dominating this league with absolute ease. I know this is arrogant, but there is no club that should be able to compete with Leeds United in the Championship. The name alone should make other clubs run away in fear. Yet every one of them seems to make us look like mugs in the transfer market – Ipswich especially! We’re paying so much more than these other clubs for so much less (as fans). Never thought I’d see the day we were getting outdone by the mighty Ipswich, it’s ridiculous.

          The accounts are largely irrelevant. We can see £7m being wasted on the East Stand. We have the Pavillion, Billy’s Bar and other such first team squad replacements to enjoy too. It’s not that there isn’t additional funds, it’s that they’re poured into pointless vanity projects.

          Ticket sales still represent the vast majority of our income and that can be improved if the squad is – it’s where the biggest profits will always be made. For every 3,500 fans in Elland Road, you get £2.25m a season (based on £25 per ticket). Improve the squad enough, move them up the league, the numbers will come and so will the money. No amount of executive boxes and bars will bring similar income – and you don’t have to spend £7m to accommodate them either. You have to invest in what makes you money and as things stand, Ken has failed to do that and may end up losing millions from ST cancellations.

        • TSS

          @CasWhite

          Money is being squandered on a stadium we don’t own for reasons we don’t understand. The boxes are pointless outside the Prem, we won’t fill them and even if we did it will take so long to recoup the inital £7m investment it’s still pointless. The money is better spent getting us to the Prem and increasing the turnover as we discussed on the comments above.

          The only way it makes sense is if KB owns Elland Road. If he does, then he’s using club funds to boost his own personal asset and increase the value. All the while, he’s pocketing £2.5m a year in rent. That would explain why our transfer kitty is always empty too.

          I suspect that theory is true, but it doesn’t matter either way. Something is clearly amiss and I’m not going to keep paying for it. Like you, I thought I was in it for life and never thought I’d reach a point where I cancelled, but Ken Bates has a way of pushing people to extremes.

        • Gryff

          @CasWhite I didn’t see any mention of him representing the fan-base (though with one of the biggest LUFC blogs out there he’s probably easily used to gauge opinion).

          He’s the ability to write his opinions on the fan-base’s opinions. Or has free-speech gone out of the window under Tsar Bates?

        • Gryff

          @CasWhite Oops, looks like I’m behind the times on my browser!

        • Grumpy

          @CasWhite The only difference between Bates and Morris is that Morris got caught. Bates is too astute for that.

        • Chareose

          @CasWhite

          Caswhite…..you dont need to quote facts and figures, the issues with Bates control is there for all to see……….I also share some of TSS frustration with an element of our fans ……how long will carry on as we are investing our own money into a cash cow for a crook and seeing FUCK ALL return in our team ? How long must we continue to listen to the constant lies, manipulations and borderline properganda ? The insults to all and sundry on a weekly basis bringing our club down ? The complete and utter lack of ambition for our team ?

          Ken Bates saw you coming mate……….

        • Chareose

          @TSS@CasWhite

          about 15 million amiss…….

        • Gryff

          @Chareose@CasWhite Precisely. The trouble is we keep questioning each little occurence and Bates can make up an answer at his leisure.

          Stop taking the bullshit each time; take Howson’s sale on the back of other players leaving. Take Bate’s “I personally spent to save the club” in 2007 with his oath that he didn’t spend a penny on us in HoC. Start looking at the bigger picture.

      • Oxford White

        @TSS @lou reed Lou, I’m lost for words, except … You are a Twat

    • F7James

      @lou reed Would you like some tissues for you tears? And maybe a nappy as well?

    • number1inyorkshire

      @lou reed EASY LOU ,its called a joke alright its not you cup of tea but hey ..

      we have been down this road before when people like yourself come on the site .we like to re assure you that your opinions are valid and they get as much credence as everyone elses .

      then we offer you a hug and a there ,there then we tell you if you are here to sing about bates that you are mostly wasting your time,energy and breathe and indeed its you that is wrong .especially when 1 min you are calling him an “old git”then sticking up for him

      hope you are feeling better now..

      i think an early night is in order pop off

    • number1inyorkshire

      @lou reed just thought i would also say matt bb the author offers on most post very good genuine opinions which are worth reading

      so there

      • mattbb1

        @number1inyorkshire@lou reed I’ll blush soon

    • WoodyUK

      @lou reed Way too serious. Made me smile (as I’m sure it was supposed to). Even if you don’t believe KB is devil incarnate it should still perk the corners of your mouth. Sorry you don’t like it but then if it’s not your cup of tea then maybe you shouldn’t read something that’s obviously just a humorous slant on the way most fans feel at the moment. I’m glad someone wrote something like this, I’ve been way too upset and glum over the past few days, needed a bit of cheering up

    • mattbb1

      nice one lou. I thought revolver was an excellent album. Hope youve kicked the heroin mate, perhaps not judging by the above.

      • Tyler75

        @mattbb1 and not judging by the collaboration with Metallica on the ‘concept’ album about a prostitute

    • PantStain

      @lou reed

    • PantStain

      @lou reed You absolute goon. You must be bates in disguise, your the tosser now feck off.

    • slack

      @lou reed You mug wat the hell r u on? grow up and get over yorself! ken bates is crippling our club and dnt give a crap about u! mot

    • BarneyWhite

      @lou reed lou F*** off

  • Gryff

    lol. OFC far too few expletives to be a real hack!

  • Tyler75

    Matt – I’m sure Kenny and his politburo are “monitoring’ TSS, so I’d watch out for your membership being revoked if I was you. His old mucker Kim Jong il would have had you in a Labour camp by now. Long live the glorious leader, Ken Old Bates.

    • mattbb1

      15 more years, 15 more years

  • MarkBilly

    Apparently Harvo’s reply was simply ‘LOL’

  • LufcWF4

    Great Sense of humour, what makes us best in world
    SG tonight said JH money goes into SQUAD improvements, last week we was only improving 1st 11, as we have too many squad players, yet another back track !!

  • slack

    lou reed u mug why dnt u wake up and realise ken bates is crippling our club and dnt give a crap about u! fool, mot

  • Bartwhite

    Just brilliant!

  • Bartwhite

    What’s the crack with bates paying 5m back to creditors, if we get to the prem before 2017. Not sure if TSS has covered this but is this the reason the old git won’t invest in the current team and gives Grayson his pocket change for transfers.

    • TSS

      @Bartwhite Pretty sure that ends this season, but the year changes every time someone mentions this theory for avoiding promotion. It doesn’t make any sense at all.

      Let’s say Leeds United owe £5m if they’re promoted this year, but will dodge it the next. Let’s say promotion is worth £60m annually to the club.

      So promoted this year (2011/12), we’ll have made an extra £55m more than we would have in Champ. Promoted 2012/13 we’ll make an extra £60m than we would have in Champ.

      So by 2013/14, if we were promoted this season we’ll have made an additional £115m.

      Promoted 2012/13, we’ll have made an additional £60m.

      It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever for Bates to dodge promotion just because he owes £5m if we do, Waiting until next season just loses him £55m.

      • Bartwhite

        @TSS I thought it was 2017 when it ended however 5m is a small price to pay when the revenue is that much…but then again it’s ken bat£s we are talking about.

      • Gryff

        @TSS@Bartwhite I think I might be part responsible for the 10year figure that’s coming out now. I read a paper thing from back in 07 when Bates was pretty much forcing us into liquidation and around that time was where he tweaked a few things to put HMRC off protesting, and one of them was changing 5years to 10years. Don’t know if that changed afterwards?

      • LufcMike

        @TSS

        I am pretty sure that your mindless defence of an idiot manager will continue unabated despite the fact he has now proven that he does not actually give a flying fuck for Leeds United if it means upsetting bates and maybe even losing the job at which he is truly useless.

        A decent manager, Leeds fan or not would have walked long before now, all this RAT can do is say the deal was good for everybody REALLY?

        then says that He is trying to get in quality like Delph who is here for a bloody month and was actually sold in Grayson’s watch.

        If you cant see what a traitor Grayson is then you are an idiot and a traitor to Leeds United too.

    • CasWhite

      Bartwhite, a part of admin there is a payment to creditors for promotion. But if you think a £5m payment against £40m for one year in PL followed by at least £48m in parachute payments is a reason not to get promoted than your dreaming.

      • Gryff

        @CasWhite Unless we follow @Lee B about Bates being a spiteful old bastard…?

  • BarneyWhite

    i’ve mellowed a bit today and this helps a lot

    Bates’ regime is still a disaster – if he had solved the obvious shortcomings during last years transfer window I am convinced we would have been promoted and would now have max, howson, snoddy, white, on long contracts and be fighting for our lives in the premiership.

    Still not planning to renew – can’t when snodgrass, white and others will will go in the summer and we are left with has beens, loans and more mediocrity .

    While I don’t believe we have a hope in hell of promotion it is still possible – a CB to lead (or Lees to lead with a strong partner) plus a RB and we could kick on – If Delph is fit and we can keep him to May even better –

    I am still up for all the protests, demos etc but not yet – let’s see where we are in March.

  • DrD

    Leeds fans stick together. Support the team. We need positive vibes to boost morale. We have plenty of time to get organised and lobby against bates if the season turns sour. Next few games are critical. 12 wins and we are in the playoffs. 16 wins, however unlikely it seems now, could get us into top 2.

    • Chareose

      @DrD

      sorry mate but your a mug, the leeds fans do need to stick together yes…….and boycott the club. the only way to turn leeds united around is with a new owner, we need rid of ken bates and that wont happen unless the fans start hitting him where it hurts – in his pocket. I really cant be doing with this depressive state of affairs for another 7 years

  • Chareose

    Ken Bates ” the selling stops with howson” You mean until we lose half the team in the summer Ken ?? Even those who nievely beleive Ken is still our saviour must realise deep down WE WILL SELL for the right price regardless ??

    What gets me is that he can lie so easily…….We all say something and mean it at the time then it changes later and we regret it, then when you go to say the same thing and you know in your head it wont be that way it becomes a blatent LIE. Ken Bates keeps saying over and over that the money from this or that transfer goes into the transfer pot, well it evidently doesnt. How many promises has he renaiged on now ??

    We could do with a statitician to show us EVERY promise that hes made and the exact point he has broken it……..

  • Chareose

    Leeds dont need a billionare, they need someone who is willing to spend the CLUBS OWN REVENUE on the CLUB……….id suggest a fan buyout but we could never afford to buy the ground or meet Kens rediculously high sales price for Leeds United. As mentioned before he likes being the focus of attention, he loves having a platform for rants and perhaps he even enjoys upsetting leeds fans.

    And to your last point, given Bates nature I doubt there is anything we could do to get rid of him that wont damage our club in the short term. Bates would make damn sure of that……. To get rid of him wed have to accept that.

  • aint it fun

    Wonder if we will get a chorus of “Fabian Delph not for sale ” today be quite fitting,on the Howson sale he wanted to go and as as been mentioned on here he was stalling on a new contract for 12 months now obviously to see where we were in january and we look ify to say the least.Somethings wrong in the background i dont know if its Grayshon but the spirits gone O`brien not gone yet and wont play well fuck him and kick him out I know for a fact that Delph hates it at Villa and wants to come home permenantly not just on loan (i know his close friend ) so who would you rather have an injured Howson who wants to go or Delph who wants to be here? no brainer

    • Gryff

      @aint it fun I would call you a bullshitter, but having spent a short time in Brum that’s completely believable lol.

      What would tell, is what we do if we got into the Prem in the next couple of years. There would be 4-5 ex-Leeds who protested that they never wanted to leave. If they didn’t want stupid wages there’d be no reason for them not to come back if they were truthful.

  • aint it fun

    Its all very well getting shut of Bates and i`m sure he will walk if we ask him nicely but who is the man to take his place ,this mystery man we are all expecting to come in and pay well over the odds for a club with no ground or training facilities and deal with a man who isn`t known for being reasonable. I think firstly not many investors or buyers would want to deal with Bates and secondly then have to deal with him again to buy back ER and Thorpe Arch.I would say dont boycott the place keep going because there`s 1 important thing everyone seems to be forgetting ,Bates is over 80 vastly overweight and enjoys eating out so the inevitable will happen sooner rather than later .Maybe someone could buy the seat behind his in the ground and burst a few balloons that may just do the trick.Wonder if his wife would take over the reigns

  • Rob Atkinson

    Trying too hard again. Aiming to appeal to the morons, I suppose. It’s that level of “satire”, anyway. Quite excruciating. You’re an embarrassment.

  • James Walker

    Go on then Rob, make us laugh.

  • The Scratching Shed

    I didn’t write the above Rob Atkinson but I fail to understand why you follow the site if you expect anything less? We’ve been unapologetically against Ken Bates’ regime since day one – this isn’t an overnight turn of events.

  • Rob Atkinson

    I don’t expect less, I expect more than the usual lame jokes. “Make sure the Howson fee goes into my account, I need to buy champagne and cigars”, oh my aching sides. If you’re serious about pursuing an anti-Bates agenda, then good luck to you, you have every right. But you need to start to aim higher than this puerile level – that is if you ARE looking at winning the hearts and minds of people other than the morons (of which there are evidently many).

  • The Scratching Shed

    Rob Atkinson – You can’t please all of the people all of the time as I’m sure you appreciate. We’ve had more constructive Bates rants than I care to list, sometimes you have to mix things up a little and do something different. If this wasn’t for you, that’s fair enough. If that’s a common theme, then you stop reading entirely – clearly the site isn’t for you!
    If a common theme of a site I visit or follow was that I didn’t like what I was reading (which is what you’re saying above), I’d stop reading it. That’s the beauty of free will.

  • Mark Helliwell

    If you don’t like it use the unlike button. I unfriend family and friends if they get on my tits.

  • The Scratching Shed

    Mark Helliwell I use the ‘hide updates from this person’ thing instead, but same effect (without insulting them) lol