Ahead of Norwich City’s visit to Elland Road this Saturday, Ken Bates has come over all mutually respectful…

“They are a good team, a good club, and they are well run.”

What he meant to add at this point was, “but they are also small-time cretins with six fingers who think they are worthy of a place in the Premier League. What the f**k does a chef know about football? Stay in the kitchen Delia… that’s what I say”

Of course, Ken Bates found an opportunity to praise himself in this interview – I mean, why wouldn’t he? And more to the point, when doesn’t he?

“We have a good manager, a good team, a good ground, great supporters, and we’re being run carefully and wisely.”

Helps you sleep at night knowing you’re being run by a careful and wise man doesn’t it? I prefer ‘sinister and sneaky’ but we all know I’m not his biggest fan. Let’s not dwell on that…

Mr. Chairman (as he likes to be called) ends by telling us that he hopes both Leeds United and Norwich can get promoted this season.

“It’d be nice if we both got promotion this season, us automatically, them through the Play-Offs.”

“Yes, it’d definitely be nice to have a female owner in the Premier League with us. She can hoover up and prepare sandwiches for the League meetings. I hear she does a lovely ham and cheese!”