NUFC – Making Leeds look sensible since 1919

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No matter how ridiculous things get at Elland Road, you can always rely on the Geordies to go one better. This week, the Looney Toons fired Chris Hughton for getting them promoted and taking them to a respectable mid-table position in the Premier League, and replaced him with the ‘more experienced’ Alan Pardew.

By ‘more experienced’ one can only assume they mean ‘more experienced at failure’ as Alan Pardew’s CV is a long list of lower league mediocrity and Premier League failure. It is however, understandable that the Geordies would like someone used to ridicule and failure because the managers job at Newcastle rarely results in much more.

Whilst we were disappointed that Kevin “twice walked out saviour of the Toon” Keegan wasn’t reappointed for another disappearing act, we will look on with great amusement as Alan Pardew’s five and a half year compensation is dished out sometime next year. We thank the Geordies for always bringing humour to football.

The Ken Bates hypocrisy corner

This particular column would probably be non-existent if it wasn’t for the sheer hypocrisy of our chairman. This week, the Monaco based bearded maestro picked Bradley Johnson for his latest war of words as he slammed him for his reluctance to sign a new deal in his programme notes. After Johnson was booed by the Leeds fans, the midfielder responded saying he wasn’t being greedy and just wanted parity with the other players.

Ken then broke his silence (erm…) and slammed Bradley on Radio Bates for bringing business into the public domain, clearly ignoring the fact Bradley had only responded to his own dig in the programme notes. Either Bates has a bad case of amnesia or his hypocrisy grows stronger with age.

Kis it better and get on with it

We end on the good news that Patrick Kisnorbo may still play a part for Leeds United this season after an Achilles tendon injury left him sidelined. The Australian international was a real hit with the fans last season and has been desperately missed this time round as Leeds’ defence continually parts easier than Jordan’s legs.

  • TheReaper08

    A little harsh on Newcastle but I suppose this article aims to achieve the same love in you created with Man City recently.

    As far as I can tell none of the above has anything to do with the Geordies and everything to do with that pillock Mike Ashley, who incidentally we share common ground with in the form of one Dennis Wise.

    • TSS

      @TheReaper08

      Bit harsh Reaps. I hardly started the Man Citeh love in – I just ended it! ;)

  • Colin

    The best banner I have seen in football was at St. James’ Park –
    “OPEN YOUR EYES, THE PROBLEM IS WISE”

  • Ash

    Great piece! I was watching the charlton vs Luton game I couldn’t help that notice that charlton have copied are 15 points song haha somthing about them going up!!! Not whilst they have parkinson in charge

  • Dje

    Mike Ashley makes me genuinely thankful for Bates.

    According to ‘The Independent’, Pardew and Ashley got on really well when they bumped into one another in a Las Vegas casino; how romantic. Obviously Ashley decided that their joint losing streak at roulette was of such high calibre that it could most readily be applied to Newcastle United in the Premiership too.

    Totesport are currently offering Newcastle for relegation at 5 to 1 (it was 7-1 before Pardew arrived); seems very generous to me.

  • Bill

    Newcastle’s next few games are really quite tough and Pardew could be under pressure with 5 years and 5 months still to run on his contract at the Sports Direct Arena.

  • foreverwhite

    Its unfair to mock the afflicted. Oh bugger – its funny as well.

  • Rich

    Most amusing. But I would point outone thing. It’s the cockneys not the Geordies supplying you with your jokes from within SJP!

  • les irwin

    what an idiot mike ashley is hughton did a fantastic job and he has that team a respectable mid table there was absolutley no reason at all to sack him beating sunderland 5-0 should of give him a job for life then to replace him on a 5 year deal with pardew WOW mourinhio ok but pardew

  • kev

    Actually it was 5-1 when the barcoders beat Sunderland,but i’m realy happy to have Newcastle around because they make our chairman look totally credible in anything he does,who makes the decision on tyne side i’ll never know, Big up the geordies !!

  • Craig

    I agree with everything that has been said about the ridiculousness of getting rid Hughton but it was the 5 and a half year contract offered to Pardew that cracked me up. He’s set up for the rest of his life before he delivers anything of worth to the club! I bet he bit Mike Ashley’s hand off!

  • philip wilkinson

    Another good banner the match the barcodes went down, at Villa, seen on Sky was
    WHO’S YOUR NEXT MESSIAH, ANT & DEC?

  • Mike

    How Ashley became a successful businessman is mystery to me, it must just be in his football dealings he is a moron.
    For Pardew all his christmas’s have come at once, what the hell has he done to deserve that??????
    Hughton has already shown his ability and will have no problem getting another job.

    • Dje

      @mikelufc

      The Ashley business model that has made him his millions has been to buy up household British names (Dunlop Slazenger, Karrimor, Kangol, Lonsdale, and Umbro) for a pittance when each was on the verge of bankruptcy. He’s then out-sourced the manufactures of these companies to Third World sweatshops who produce knock-off goods that resemble those of these once-respected companies – until they are used and the poor quality is clear to see. Possibly with a whiff of nostalgia for British logos, the general public is still willing to buy week in week out, but all the while lament that ‘these aren’t as good as they used to be’.

      So really, you have to say what Ashley has done with Newcastle United is very much in keeping with his incredibly limited business acumen. The only difference was that when buying Dunlop Slazenger, Lonsdale, Karrimor etc Ashley had his lawyers do the due-diligence regarding what level of debts he was taking on in purchasing these brands – this he failed to do when dealing with John Hall and Freddie Shepherd regarding buying Newcastle United and has been made to pay many, many millions ever since.

      The man is a fool, and not worth any respect in business or in football, IMHO.

      • TheReaper08

        @djedjedje Whilst you are mostly correct Umbro is owned by Nike.

        • Dje

          @TheReaper08

          Apologies, I failed to do my own due-diligence regarding Umbro.

          I think Ashley had (or possibly still does have?) a sizable share of Umbro, but Nike may well have bought that out. I doubt Ashley would be interested in buying Umbro now either as Nike will have already farmed it out to the sweatshops of South East Asia.

          • Colin

            Umbro is now Nike!!! FFS, Do we actually have any British owned/based companies left apart from a couple of fag companies, a petrol company, the odd bank and Boots?

            The country’s going down the drain. Time to have a riot and smash some shit up.

          • TheReaper08

            @djedjedje Don’t apologise, I wasn’t being picky it’s just that my brother-in-law is a head product designer on the football side for Umbro.

        • timm

          @djedje Well i bought a Karrimor running jacket there a year ago & it’s been bloody great!!
          Apparantly Ashley & Pardew are gambling buddies & frequent the same casino?! Will this man ever learn?
          I feel really sorry for the fans to be honest, I think this was the chance to be taking a long term view & going for someone like De Matteo or Coyle?

  • CC

    Aye wise was a twat but he wasnt all bad he did take Leeds into the 3rd tier…

  • Dje

    @colin

    “Do we actually have any British owned/based companies left apart from a couple of fag companies, a petrol company, the odd bank and Boots?”

    Quite a visual pastiche coming from such a sullenly list, Colin:

    sort of Boudicca with a face full of slap as she squawks along the inner ring-road – just up from the 24-hour BP petrol station, a fag tipped in her mouth and some foxed fiver notes in her tardy handbag from the last willing punter.

    Hah, welcome to Great Britain!

    • timm

      @djedje What on earth are you talking about?!!

      • TSS

        @timm

        Not a clue, but it was funny… or confusing… one or the other.

        • Dje

          @timm @TSS

          Lol – Clearly it is time for me to crack open the first of the weekend’s beer.

  • Mike

    I think djedjedjedje started on the wacky baccy :-)
    Thanks for the info though.

    British style boardrooms and company directors are the big problem.
    We get a long established British that is doing ok but along comes an offer from Johnny bloody foreigner of any bloody flavour with an offer that promises to fill the pockets of the directors whilst throwing away a hundred plus years of expertise and what do they do?
    The British system is all about what are we making this year and no thought to the future, no investment at all, get the profits and run off to the isle of man,Jersey,BVI, you name it.

  • Colin

    Now it gets interesting – this team will not lie down, 2 goals down and Leeds come back 3-2.

    6 points off the top and playing the leaders, QPR next, at Elland Road, and QPR not looking as fantastic as they were. 2 points off second.

    This team just doesn’t want to get beat – Leeds United fear no-one. I tell you what, Leeds’ current run is no fluke. I reckon Grayson has told the players to go and win the league. And a big pair of balls on both Bradley and Grayson – he picked him so fair play to him and Bradley didn’t let him down. He played very well. Do you change the most in-form team in the league? Now the pressure is on the board – they have to rethink the contracts of Johnson and maybe even Kilkenny. Leeds should not change this team. And just how good is Jonny Howson – he’s getting better and better and better.

  • TheReaper08

    Great result for PArdew and the barcodes, it might have been against the highly inconsistent Scousers but 3-1 is a good result. Great goal from Carroll as well.