Luxury accommodation in Hull

Not satisfied by leaving Elland Road with a totally undeserved point, Hull City fans are attempting to wind Whites fans up even more by claiming Luciano Becchio may be joining their insignificant little club in January.

After Bradley Johnson took pity on the travelling fishermen, Hull left Elland Road with a totally undeserved point on Tuesday. The solitary point has been described by Hull fans as the single greatest moment in their miserable and largely irrelevant history.

Further attempts to wind Leeds fans up were made in HCI’s description of Ian Ashbee who they called a ‘legend’ for leaving Luciano Becchio with a black eye. Whether giving someone a black eye is a common tactic for Hull when trying to attract players is unclear – mainly because no one cares about them and few of the natives can write, so information is extremely hard to come by.

What we can confirm however is that Hull offer all their targets a range of benefits including the chance to take up residency in a diverse cultural hotspot alongside the river. Local delights include fishing excursions down the Humber and the chance to watch the natives in the wild, where they can often be seen chasing enormous sewer rats around town (each rat is capable of feeding 25 locals). Other popular past-times include, lining up at the unemployment office, “Chavving it big style init yo” and inbreeding. It’s fair to say that everyone is (quite literally) one big happy family in Hull.

Of course, playing for Hull holds nowhere near the same status as playing for Leeds United. The two clubs and places contrast vastly in their comparative wealth, significance, respect and poverty levels but once every few years, the three-armed, six fingered yokels of Hull escape their poverty-ridden village and get the chance to see the greener side of the fence with a visit to the kings of Yorkshire at Elland Road.

For Hull fans, a visit to Leeds is like a beautiful blonde flashing a geeky teenage virgin – It’s a small glimpse of a world so far beyond their reach, the jealously leads them on a vicious campaign of slanderous and derogatory comments against us.

As Leeds United fans, we really should take the higher ground. I did think that they’d show a little more gratitude after Johnson gifted them a point but evidently not. The problem is, that Hull’s visit to Leeds allowed them to view the greatness of our team and they’ve been left desperately trying to cling on to any association ever since. It’s basically the same as when fat birds hang around with much better looking friends – they hope that the beauty will eventually rub off.

Unfortunately for both the fat birds and Hull City, it just doesn’t work like that. No matter how much you try and associate with your superiors, it won’t changge anything. You’ll always be inferior.

40 Responses

  1. pete

    Maybe he wants to take a pay-cut and lose the love we all have for him, just to go and play somewhere where 20,000 yokels won’t be ab;e to spell his name, let alone chant it?

    Anyway, even if he wants to go there, he can’t subject his daughter to that hellhole.

    • DC

      Pete – Please check your spelling and grammar before stating the Hull fans can’t spell. We don’t all want to tarred with the same brush you thick idiot. Thanks

      • pete

        A semi-colon instead of an l and all of a sudden I’m a thick idiot who is bringing all Leeds fans down?

        Insight and incite are different words with very different meanings, and the post was aimed at a Hull fan who had come onto a Leeds board to post, rather than aimed at a fellow Leeds fan.

        I can provide a ladder for you to help you down from that pedestal if you like?

      • Marc Butterworth

        DC – I would concentrate more on your own grammer before attacking a fellow poster about theirs.

        I think you meant to say
        “We don’t all want to be tarred with the same brush”

  2. TheReaper08

    @TSS Very funny, you really don’t like Hull do you, where does all the anger stem from ?

  3. Side Before Self

    Let them try to better themselves. As the saying goes, you can’t polish a turd

  4. oldham white

    read this earlier and was waiting for TSS to reply, quality response as always


  5. Tiger tim

    Wow – That was hilarious – you could almost hear the false teeth grind, what bitterness. You’ll get over lads, with a bit of psychiatric help. struck a nerve oviously, as well as Becchios head. Never mind Leeds, back to sheep shagging

  6. DC

    I’m a Leeds fan but I really think you need to calm yourself down. What a complete and utter loser you are. You must have more going on in your life than spending all your time writing dross like this and searching google images for a wooden house.

  7. CT

    Thank you for confirming the stereotype that football fans’ blogs are written by hypocritical imbeciles.

  8. fc till

    Yeah… so, how is league one these days? been a while since we been there what with the premiership and all, tend to forget how cr*p the teams from that league are.
    Hows my spelling love?

    • TheReaper08

      @fc till It was 2005 so unless your severely retarded or 4 years old chances are you remember being in league 1.

  9. Dan

    Being from Hull, I couldn’t quite make out all of the big words in this insightful little rant but I did manage to get the cogs working enough to sense a little irritation from you – are you passive-aggressive? Why waste your valuable time whining about such an ‘insignificant’ city; shouldn’t you be out sampling the cosmopolitan delights of your recently regenerated one? I must dash now as there’s a lovely sewer rat to catch for dinner.

    Oh, and just before I throw myself in the Humber, I’ll revert to type by saying: See you at the KC – you f*cking sad c*nt.

  10. Paul

    As a Hull native and lifelong Hull City fan with a medical degree and a postgraduate degree from Leeds University, I think I am qualified to say that the author of this article is clearly a bigoted and jealous person who must be living in the past. Elland Road looks rather faded compared with the stadium I remember in the 1970s and your team has some skill in attack, but also obvious defensive frailties. Perhaps one day the missing 20,000 will come back to watch you (though I’m not so sure at £29 per ticket for championship standard football). Hull City have I admit been punching above their weight, but have just spent 2 seasons in the Premier League (our first ever), that’s 2 divisions higher than Leeds at that time, and are now having to rebuild their team and finances after the previous chairman and manager over-reached themselves (would never happen to Leeds Utd??). It was a good competitive match and over the 90 mins a draw was about right in my view…..though we can all have our opinion….how did you do against Preston I wonder?


    • TheReaper08

      @Paul Instead of highlighting one game why don’t we compare league position ? After all as you rightly point out you have just dropped down from the PL with PL players (excuse me while stop for a giggle) and weighty parachute payments. We on the other hand have just dragged ourselves up from L1 with L1 players. We are 6th (pending Norwich ending with a win) so you must be where, 2nd ? 3rd ? 4th ? Top ?

  11. Nasty Jim

    Check out the dull fans giving it large cos they have some one daft enuff to waste some dosh on em.
    Becchio,nice hatrick today son :-)))

  12. White to the core

    A legend. Ashbee you are clearly punching above your weight or should i say elbowing. If thats the highlight of your season then that sums up your clearly limited ability.You wouldnt feature in our reserve team and Hull are clearly on their way back to their comfort zone. Division 2! Enjoy the journey down you sad cretin and enjoy your rat-tatouile. ;o)

  13. TSS

    What always amuses me when I write something like the above is the predictable series of reactions you get. It’s completely black and white from both sides. You’ll get those that can take a joke and give it back, and those that can’t take a joke so throw the teddy out and sulk.

    Those that bothered to click through to the linked article will realise it’s written as a reply to the Hull fans swipe at us. What makes me laugh is that we’re criticised for our indifference to local teams, but when we rise to the bait and attempt to create a bit of rivalry, we’re criticised for that too. Typical. Call the FA.

  14. EYLeeds

    That’s a bit harsh TSS; There has been alot of regeneration work done in Hull and it has been brought up to at least the 1950s.
    I also doubt that any of the educated commentators above actually live in Hull. If you have a job (or any sense) you move out to the East Riding and live in Cottingham, Beverley, Hedon et al.
    Hull is, and always will be, a rugby league town and will be reclaimed by the sea before they ever get back into the Premiership.

  15. Marc Butterworth

    TSS – What you posted above may have been done in jest, but it is not that far from the Truth m8 to be honest. My mum had a Static Caravan in Withernsea until recently so I have spent a lot of time in and around Hull and it stinks m8… All you can smell is rotting fish…. And thats just from the locals… The place is a proper shit hole… It’s one of them places that is just soooooo grim… no colour… It’s like a Lowry portrait.

    And dont get me started on the locals…I have never seen such a set of inbred, baby eating freaks…

    Not a nice place m8, not nice at all…

  16. Gryff

    What does “Tiger Tim” have in common with Hull CIty?

    They’re both has-beens nobody could care less about! ;-)

  17. Ayala

    What utter tripe. This article is about as funny as Lee Evans (horse s**t). I have lived in Hull all my life and if this conversation was taking place 10 years ago, I would probably have agreed with you. It wasn’t great, but it’s a city doing its best to improve. As for the ‘great’ city of Leeds, I’d sooner spend a weekend in Immingham than go back there. Whoever wrote this is either still stinging from a draw (a deserved draw, the ball went in the back of your net twice; if we had scored three goals and got no points, then we wouldn’t have deserve to lose…see how that works?) or just has far too much time on their hands.
    Jog on…

  18. Lambrettaman

    This is hilarious, I didn’t think lowly Hull City could generate this much hatred.

    Personally, I don’t think Becchio is good enough to play for Hull City, but it will be worth signing him, just to irritate you bunch of window lickers.

  19. JJ.44

    If you think so little of HUll why do you feel the need to be obssessed with us and comment on us all day long?

    Surely you have something better to do than talk to little old Hull…..

  20. oldham white

    maybe you should read through the thread buddy, but it seems the majority of hull fans that are commenting on a leeds united blog

  21. Max.

    Quite apart from whether Hull is or is not a pleasant place to live, they’re going to have trouble attracting players who are doing well, if they are still hanging around the relegation zone come the end of the year. Same goes for Middlesborough, a far more likely destination for Becchio if he ends up leaving Leeds (and more likely than either, I think, would be somewhere like Celtic).

    I noticed, watching the Football League Show last night, that Hull did end up acquiring the services of Jay Simpson, who is generally believed to be the young player Bates criticised for his outrageous wage demands during the summer. He was on the bench at Leeds but didn’t come on (checked his record, 12 games 0 goals thus far). I wouldn’t be wanting to carry his salary down into League One, let alone what Becchio could probably command on a January move.

  22. Lambrettaman

    Jay Simpson cost £50k(rising to £300k after 30 games), he was not an expensive player and as we were skint, no-one was signed on massive wages either(lesson learned painfully with the Bullard signing).

    And the reason you have Hull City fans on here, is because this site is linked to Newsnow, so every time you write an article about us, it appears on the Hull City page.

  23. Max.

    Bates said Simpson’s agent was demanding £14k/week. It’s not the transfer fee which was the issue in this case.

  24. Cowelley

    Big Club??? Kings Of Yorkshire??????? Fucking clowns of Yorkshire!!! Our little RELAGATED club attracts around 20000 home supporters from our little town, whereas the ‘famous’ and ‘massive’ Leeds United(recently promoted from div3)~ can only muster around 23-25000 home supporters from the WHOLE of Yorkshire, the biggest county in the land!!!!! To be fair i can only stomach one visit to that shithole per year, and as for becchio i hope he is still playing in white by the time we meet at the KC so Ash can give him another bastard, we’d rather sign brad johnson, he’s prolific!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.