Possibly my favourite story so far this year as the Times Online discovers the best use for Manchester United fans. They’re going to target Old Trafford and other Manchester sporting venues for contributions to the nationwide sperm-bank!

Are the genes of Manchester United football fans in a different league to those of Manchester City fans? It’s a pertinent question because the NHS is out to recruit both groups as sperm donors.

Coming soon to boarded up offices in Manchester

I’ll answer this one. The genes of Man United and Man City fans are indeed very different. The latter for example tends to have an increased amount of common sense over the former, evident in the choosing of their football club. The former also has an insatiable desire for prawn and cucumber sandwiches and tends to reside further south than the latter.

Further study has also highlighted a distinct attraction to shiny silver things in the supporters of Manchester United. Indeed, many of them would quickly jump ship and change allegiance in a shot if another team was to start collecting more of these precious objects than their own.

It would be easy to imagine fans chanting of their rivals, “What a bunch of sperm donors”, or something similar.

Nothing new there then! At least they’ll have a good use for Wes Brown.

Thanks to the Times Online for bringing this priceless piece of information to my attention (via @MOTForever). It’s really made my morning!